Sitting on the Fence

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Sitting on the Fence, Middle Ground, The best of both worlds

 

Get off the FenceAs our scripture today reads in Mt:6:24: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

 

For a long time I was happy just sitting on the fence. It was what I thought was the best of both worlds. I did what I wanted to during the week and on Sabbaths I went to church. Went out Friday and Saturday nights, but I went to church on Sabbath.   It was easy and I was happy or so I thought.

 

I believe I was twelve when I told my dad, and I told him with attitude, because that was what I was full of when I was twelve. I told my dad to stop pushing his religion on me. The weird thing after that was that my dad then gave me the choice. And of course being the rebellious child that I was I stopped going to church.

 

I always believed that there was a God and I always believed that Jesus existed.

 

I got married, two years later got pregnant. I was getting better after that. Starting going to church more. I wanted to give my life to God. But I would be giving up so much. I didn’t want to stop going out, drinking, partying, what would people think of me, they would call me a holy rolly. I made fun of people like that.

 

But God knew my heart and he knew that I wanted to give my life to him, and he knew of someone dear to me that would help him.

 

I was seven months pregnant when we found out that my dad had cancer. Suddenly my whole world turned upside down, how could this happen. I didn’t know what to do. I turned to God, begged him to help my dad. He was a good man and always did everything for everyone else and expected nothing in return. I started going to church more, prayed every night. But then my dad got better and I began to go back to the life I had before. I went back to sitting on the fence.

 

Mother PrayingBut I wanted to change; I wanted to be a better person, a better mother, a better wife a better daughter. And I tried, but I had to just give up so much.

 

It was two years later, two weeks before x-mas when my dad came to my house unexpected. I had to hear that horrible news THE CANCER WAS BACK.

 

WHAT, WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING, HE IS SUCH A GOOD PERSON, HE DID SO MUCH, during his first treatment he never missed a beat. He only missed one day of work, he held up all of his duties with the church and at the time he was head elder so he had a lot of responsibility. I didn’t understand why this was happening.

 

I knew my life was not going the way I wanted it to. But I didn’t think God wanted me. I knew better, I was raised better than that, I didn’t think I had a chance. But how could I expect God to help me when I wasn’t willing to help myself. How could I ask God to help me when I wasn’t willing to give him anything in return?

 

I was frantic this time, searching everywhere for the answers. I would get my Bible out looking for something. I wanted my dad’s faith, but I was so far gone. One late night, I was searching for an answer. I was talking to God, asking him to help me. I picked up my bible, the first page I turned to, had one verse that seemed to stick out of the page, as if it were the only thing written on that page, it was:

 

Matthew14:31: And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

 

I felt as if God were talking to me.   Saying you know me better than that, why do you doubt me, why would you doubt that I would not help you, why would you doubt that I would not want you?

 

I started to read more and ran across a different scriptures that read:

 

Mt:17:20: And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

 

Mt:6:8: Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

 

Mt:21:22: And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

 

Mt:7:7: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

 

Mt:7:8: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

 

Lk:12:28: If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

 

I had heard these verses over and over growing up but only now did I understand what they meant.

 

Was that me, but I believed there was a God, I believed that Jesus was the son of God.

 

But you know you see so may people theses days that go to church or get involved with certain things in church just to say that they paid their dues.

 

They act like serving God is a chore and something that they rather not do. But they have to do it.

 

There is a difference between believing that Jesus exists and believing in Jesus.

 

Jn:3:16: reads. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

 

Believeth IN HIM. You can believe something but not believe in something. Believing in Jesus is what transforms you. Believing in, trusting in, having faith in, accepting him. That is our acceptance of Jesus.

 

Jesus CallingWhen we are sitting on the fence are we really believing in Jesus, are we really believing in God.

 

Or are we just doing what we believe is required of us.

 

Believing in Jesus is what will give us eternal life, not just believing that there is a Jesus.

 

When you believe in Jesus, when you accept him into your life, the Holy Spirit takes over and you become a different person. The things that you thought were so hard to give up, you wonder why you thought you could not live with out it

 

 

I don’t know if that is why my dad got cancer. But sometimes I wonder.

 

I can almost see God telling satan to try to turn me. Make my dad sick, it will only send her straight to me.

 

Like in the book of Job, God’s humble servant. That is who I think of when I see my dad. He praised God through everything.

 

Some times God has to knock you on your knees.

 

1Pt:1:7: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

 

 

God knew that my dads faith was untouchable, and he knew that I needed just needed to be pushed off of the fence that I was already facing in his direction.

 

My dad and I were talking about everything one evening. About him getting sick and maybe he got sick because God knew it would bring me back. My dad said that he would go threw it a thousand times if it would bring all of his children back to God.

 

These days I speak with God every few hours as opposed to every few days.

 

My life isn’t perfect in fact sometimes it is harder than it was before. But I know that I am not alone, God is always with me and I try to make sure that I include him in every aspect of my life.

 

For me it is so much more than just paying my dues, making sure that I go to church of Sabbath, going to church is only a small part of my relationship with God. It is allowing him control of my life, to put things in his hands, He never said that it would be easy, but he said that he would see me through the storm.

 

Dad and Daughter holding handsAnd I no longer consider myself sitting on the fence.

 

 

By Patricia Vincent

Restoring Gods Truth

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